Mr And Mrs Taisho
by A.D. Williams
Summary: Inuyasha and Kikyo are a married couple on Dr. Phil who have decided to share their secrets about their fatal relationship. One shot


Okay, I know everybody already knows where I got the title and idea for this story from, of course _Mr. And Mrs. Smith_. But to tell the truth, I've never even seen this movie! I have a clue what it's about, but if any incidents that happen here are in the movie, they're a complete coincidence. I got the idea to do this story from my little brother (go head on, Mikey! At least someone in my family supports my fanfiction writing!) Most of this story came from what I saw on Scary Movie 4 (though I haven't copied what they said. I'll leave that for their own credit!) Okay, and one more thing, because I lack the mental compacity of creating a last name for them, I have simply used the last part of Inuyasha's father's name. Still I hope you enjoy this!

Disclaimer: I own none of the Inuyasha characters, nor the Dr. Phil show (but of course not, that's his! But just in case...) I also played no part in the creation of the movie _Mr. and Mrs. Smith _and as stated above, any alikeness in this story to the movie is a coincidence.

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**Mr. And Mrs. Taisho**

"So, Mr. Taisho, how well would you say you and Kikyo get along on a daily basis?" Dr. Phil asked Inuyasha. "Well, for the most part, we have a good relationship, don't we, honey?" He looked over to Kikyo, who was examining her newly manicured fingernails. "Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah..." "It's just that," Inuyasha continued, "Sometimes she drives me crazy. Like she'll make a hole in the living room floor and cover it with a rug, just to see if I'll be stupid enough to fall in it. "Do you?" Dr. Phil asked. Inuyasha gave him a smirk, showing off a fang. "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me two or more times, shame on me."

Kikyo gave a sigh that quickly became a cough, but said nothing. Inuyasha gave her a look, but continued. "Sometimes she'll put a bucket full of knives on top of a half opened door and wait for me to walk through it. Or maybe she'll replace a bottle of white wine with rat poison and suddenly proclaim that we need to celebrate some unknown date, like the anniversary of our first date or something." Dr. Phil looked at him as if he were from another planet, then turned to Kikyo. "And how would you despcribe your marriage, Mrs. Taisho?" Finally she looked up from her nails and gave him a warm smile.

"Well, Dr. Phil, I love Inuyasha dearly. But likewise, he can also, you know, annoy me." She smiled lovingly at Inuyasha and he returned it. "Like, we'll be driving to go see a movie and he'll suddenly take a detour down a half finished bridge and expect me to jump out before the car drives over the edge." Inuyasha stiffled something between a sneeze and a snort, but kept silent. "At times we'll be taking a romantic cruise on the bay and he'll suddenly set off a grenade and jump overboard. Of course, all I do is quickly throw it over with him." She gave him another smile but he was looking somewhere to his right, off stage.

Dr. Phil looked shocked, staring between her and Inuyasha. "And this is what you two call showing love?" "Well, yeah," Inuyasha replied. "I mean, we have so much in common. But dosen't every couple have its problems? I think every husband feels at one time or another like gassing his wife in the shower, snapping her neck for good measure, then churning her remains in a meat grider and feeding them to the dog. Am I right?" The audience was silent. Inuyasha simply shrugged. "Come on, women," Kikyo said, coming to his defence (and hers). "When you feel that your husband isn't paying attention to you anymore, and would rather watch a football game than ask you how your day at work went, don't you want to crack his head open with a weight, rip his boys off with salad tounges, then toss him off the nearest cliff with sharks at the bottom?" The crowd once again was silent.

Dr. Phil cleared his throat. "Um, don't you two, you know, do some normal couple things? Like walks in the park or cuddling on the couch?" "Actually, Dr. Phil" Inuyasha said, "We used to have walks in the park. But they always ended with either blood shed or broken bones." Kikyo nodded her head. "Exactly. For this same reason, we've decided to keep our "cuddling" to a minimum.

Dr. Phil finally sighed in defeat. "Okay, so there you have it, folks. If these two can threaten eachother's lives on a daily basis and still stay together, then any relationship can work, it just takes dedication. I want to thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Taisho for coming on the show," he shook their hands, "And that's all till tommorow's show." (Like I said, I don't watch the show, so I don't know what his finishing statement really is.)

As they left out of the back exit, Kikyo "playfully" stabbed Inuyasha in the shoulder with a sacred arrow. Likewise, he "playfully" raked his claws across her throat. They left the building laughing and in high spirits.

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Okay, so review and tell me what you think about my off the wall story! 


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